i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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