loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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