Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
