Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
