am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
