Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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