Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize