Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
