Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
