Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
