If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
