i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
