Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
