chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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