there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
