Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
