That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I want her autograph on my taint
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
