Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
