would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
