They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
