How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize