i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
