there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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