Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
