Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
