I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
