drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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