His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
