She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
