i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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