i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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