the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
