I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
