so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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