I'm eating all of the evidence.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize