Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
