Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
