There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
