come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
