Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
