You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize