Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Sacagawea was the original milf.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
