So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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