physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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