turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
