Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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