I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
