Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Randomize
