using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
