well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize