Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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