I wish I could teleport
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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