doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
