my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
