hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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