I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
