Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
