Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
