just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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