...so i touched it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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