U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
