I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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