Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
