i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
did i just pee glitter
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