Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize