you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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