Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
