try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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