No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
