I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
