i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it glows. i had to have it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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