I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
